The Phantom Mullet

Gesture Remote for Our God, the TV.

Worshiping the illuminated God

In this time and age of touch screens, wii-motes and mouse gestures.  Hitachi has come up with a Gesture based TV remote to control our illuminated God.  Who said you can’t get some exercise watching TV?  Now to change the channel you have to wave your hand, or whatever *they* decide. I can imagine how much more exciting the struggle for remote control will be?  Wrestling, grappling, feats of strength, it will be great.  The whole time grappling for control of the illuminated God. All the while, it is going crazy trying to read of all the motions, flipping channels, zooming in and out, picture in picture, volume up/down.  It will be great.  We will have to duke it out, old school to become the ultimate commander of the illuminated God.  He will be at our beck and call.  We will control if we want our news slanted to the left, or slanted to the right.

To read more, and see some videos on this check out this CNET New article here.

10 Ways to Know the Easter Bunny has Gone Crazy

1. His basket is filled with invites to “Furry” Parties.
2. Rotting corpse of the Energizer Bunny is found in his crawl space.
3. Collaborated with Dr. Kevorkian on a “Suicide Egg”
4. He is hippity hopped up on crack cocaine
5. Thinks giving a pile of money to failing businesses, will fix the economy.
6. Eggs come filled with Prozac now
7. Starts bringing the eggs scrambled.
8. Is caught trying to order a hit on Santa, Leprechauns, Cupid and Martin Luther King  in a grand plan of holiday domination.
9. Every house he visits has REDRUM written on the mirror
10. Still is investing money with Bernie Madoff.

Why We Don’t Let European’s Fight in Hockey

I have also been told that Semin and fighting don’t mix…..  This video proves it.  It is a little sissy boy slapping like from the Christmas Movie.  UFC, sign him up.

Brittney Spears Unmasked

Have you ever wondered what Brittney really sounds like at her concerts?  I have……  Now the guessing is over.

Time to Blog Again

I have been getting the itch to blog again.  Latley twitter has been filling the void in my life where a blog would fit, but I am finding myself growing tired of the 140 character limit.   I have been finding my self wishing I had more room to post the silly youtube videos I find, and make random penis/fart jokes that take more time to develop.  I might even write about the things I think about and not just make jokes, but probally not.  You never really want to be around a clown the make-up comes off and the laugher stops.  It gets kinda weird.  Well anyways, I am back, maybe……

She’s a Femme Bot??

Does anyone else think Hillary Clinton might be a robot?  Seriously.  I keep waiting for her “jublies” to turn into machine guns and mow down Obama.  Is it safe to potentially put the country under command of a robot.  I think it is the start of robot revolution.  Better start learning binary, so we can communicate with our new robot overlords.  Maybe the iPhone is just HRC’s little spies, here to follow our every move, get us to love and adore us, only to turn on us and crush our spirits.  I don’t know, but is anyone else thinking maybe HRC and Martha Stewart should have a battle to the death cage match?  Either way, at the end of the match, the world would be a better day…..

Hit TV Shows in Iraq

1. My Two Baghdads
2. Burka Baywatch
3. M*U*S*T*A*S*H
4. Are You Smarter Than a Camel
5. Buffy the Slayer of Imperialist Yankee Pigs
6. Hussienfield
7. Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8. Iraq’s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
9. When Camels Attack
10. Achmed’s Creek

Scottish Kilts Copyrighted?

Here is a story about how they are trying to copyright Scottish kilts. For it to be a “Scottish” kilt, it has to be made in Scotland, hand sewn, and made of pure wool. Now if you wear underwear under your “Scottish” kilt, is it just a kilt then? Seriously, this whole copyright thing has gone WAY TOO FAR!!! What else are they going to copyright? French toast? English Muffins? Danishes? The whole breakfast line could be in serious jeopardy. Maybe we will have to change the name of things, like French fries, to “eat to many of these look like Rosie O’Donnell” fries. Or even Italian sausage to “the only sausage Paris Hilton won’t eat” sausage. This whole copyright thing is out of control.

Confucious Says…..

1. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.
2. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
3. Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ball room.
4. Man who tell too many light bulb joke soon burnt out.
5. Man who scratch butt, should not bite nails.
6. Wise man never play leap frog with unicorn.
7. Man who sneezes without tissue, take matter into own hands.
8. Man who take laxatives and sleeping pills on same night, wake up in deep poo.
9. Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
10. Man who walk through turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Rejected TV Shows

1. When Grandma’s attack
2. Trekies: The dating game
3. American Monk : Who is the next star Gregorian chanter.
4. Pull My Finger: The Rosie O’Donnell Story
5. Parenting 101: hosted by Brittney Spears
6. Bin-Laden and Friends Comedy Hour
7. Taxidermist Files
8. Prime Factor: famous people have to tell if a number is a prime number, or what it’s factors are.
9. Will Star Jones Eat it?
10. America’s Next Top Accoutant