The Phantom Mullet

The blog that ruined the internet for serious people.

04 January
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Chuck Norris as President

Mitt Romney has a new campaign add that compares Chuck Norris to Mike Huckabee. Can you imagine Chuck Norris as president. Who needs the CIA to go after terrorists, just send Chuck. Also, the Secret Service wouldn’t be protecting Chuck Norris, they would be protecting us from him. Don’t like his views on Health Care, round house kick to the head. Man, C-Span just may become something worth watching. Here is some potential laws/rules I think President Chuck would enact.

  1. Government subsidies on all Chuck Norris Total Gyms. Required to use for 15 mins a day.
  2. All law enforcement must learn karate, guns not needed
  3. State of Texas, changed from Texas to Walker, Texas Ranger.
  4. Have a dispute, don’t sue, fight it out in a cage match.
  5. All prisons and jails must only play re-runs of Walker, Texans Ranger. Now that is a crime deterrent.

Click here for the video

 
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